Don't Sink My Ship
by RaisedOnRadio
Summary: Taka decides Mai and Naru need a couple name. [one shot]


**Don't Sink My Ship**

Taka decides Mai and Naru need a couple name.

Word Count: 800 / Written on 2-7-15

_Note: I always feel the need to mention who Taka is. She's one of my favorite characters, and is virtually non-existent in the manga and anime. You only see her a few times – she's a fan of Takigawa's band and is one of the girls who requests help in Chiaki's case. She is also the girl who comes with Chiaki when Naru is in the hospital. In the novels, she actually ends up working for the SPR. If you already knew that, carry on!_

_..._

* * *

...

"Taka," Mai said as she passed the older girl, "You're sighing loudly again."

Taka straightened up from her small desk. In front of her was the pale pink notebook that she had been doodling in. Mai certainly wasn't going to reprimand her for that, she had whittled away slow hours at the office in similar ways. February was a useless month. There were no Christmas ghosts. The time for New Year ghosts was gone. The best they could hope for were Valentine-themed cases, which never went well, as jilted lovers tended to not make happy ghosts.

Taka slid a teen magazine out from under her notebook. "Help me with something, Mai."

"Aren't you a little old for those types of magazines?"

"One of my guilty pleasures, so sue me." She flipped open the magazine. "So they have an article about coming up with your own couple names, and I don't know what to do. My nickname is Taka, right? And his last name is Takigawa –"

"You guys aren't a couple, I hope you realize that," Mai said.

"Don't ruin my fantasy," Taka said with a pout. "I'm just preparing for the future. Do you think TakaTaki is too long?"

Mai had to giggle. "That's cute."

Taka glanced up at her. "You two don't have a couple name, do you?"

Mai narrowed her eyes, knowing the office walls were not soundproof. "We're not a couple either, so don't start."

"So the article says to start with writing down your full names," Taka said, ignoring Mai. She discarded the magazine to pick up the notebook. "So, Mai Taniyama and Oliver Davis. Or should I put Kazuya Shibuya? Or Naru? Or Noll?" Taka set down the notebook in disbelief. "Does he have any more aliases I should be aware of?"

"I – I don't think so," Mai said, caught off guard. She wouldn't be surprised if he did.

Taka scribbled into the notebook, wearing down the pencil tip in her fervor. She flipped the notebook over to Mai, showing her list of suggestions:

_Narai. Narmai. Olimai. Olivai. Maiver. NaMai. NaMa. Mairu. Maill. Moll. Nai. Nolai._

Mai stared at the list. "This is ridiculous," she said finally.

"Oh, come on. When you're famous, you don't want people to refer to you as MaiNaru, do you? Or just NaruMai? Or even worse, simply the dreaded 'x' between your names?"

"Naru is a celebrity, but he's not that kind of famous. No one is going to care about his love life."

"The SPR newsletter is going to."

"We don't have a newsletter –" Mai paused at Taka's quirk of an eyebrow, and changed her sentence, "–We don't have a newsletter that I know about, apparently."

Taka pulled out a three-page booklet, simply stapled at the top corner. The front said:

_SPR – Japanese Branch – Monthly Newsletter – Issue 1_

The first headline declared: _MaixNaru: Real or Fantasy? Details on page 2_

Mai took the newsletter from her, folded the papers carefully, and started into the kitchenette.

"Where are you going with that?" Taka asked her.

"I'm going to burn it."

Taka followed her into the kitchen, notebook still in hand. "See how ugly your ship name is?"

Mai set the booklet down and started to make tea. "I thought you said it was a couple name. Nobody is going to 'ship' us. Don't you think that would be weird?"

"I don't know, we've brought in some younger interns, after all. Isn't that what they do for entertainment? Since they can't have the boss themselves, of course."

Mai almost dropped the teapot at that comment. Taka took it from her hands and replaced the empty space with the notebook. "Just scratch off which ones you don't like, then we can have the office vote on the rest if you can't decide."

Her tone was way too cheerful, Mai decided. She looked over the list again with reluctance.

_Narai. Narmai. Olimai. Olivai. Maiver. NaMai. NaMa. Mairu. Maill. Moll. Nai. Nolai._

"NaMa has to go," Mai said as Taka put the pot on to boil. "And Moll. And Nai. Those are just plain awful." Taka nodded emphatically as she took the container of tea leaves off the shelf.

"Most people wouldn't understand using Oliver," Mai continued, "They only know him as Naru, thanks to me. That cuts out Noll references too. So maybe Narai. Or Mairu."

She stuffed the notebook in Taka's hands, and gave her the newsletter as well, making Taka juggle them with the tea leaves.

"The office can decide when we are a couple, okay?" Mai said, not worried, because _like-that-will-ever-happen_. "Now back to work. After you bring me a cup of tea."

"But you two are really made for each other," Taka muttered as Mai left the kitchenette.

Mai could only pretend she had not heard.

...

* * *

...

_I think this story almost broke the fourth wall. _

_So, mention your favorite from Mai's two choices in a comment and within the next few weeks I'll check which one has the most votes. That will be the couple name I'll use in my stories from now on._

_Thanks for reading!_

_EDIT 3/19/15 - Mairu wins, according to the comments!_


End file.
